Absolute Devotion
by Ave-Three
Summary: Not exactly pro anorexia/ pro ana but not against it neither. Just testing the waters really.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: Anorexia will change your life. It's a life choice and so is recovery. Recovering your mind is much harder. It will never be yours again. Some can committ to it. Just like suicide, THIS WILL BE PERMANENT.

America, England, France, Russia, China. They all knew what was happening in each other's lives. To be able to have a secret meant to not mention it at all. No. To tell of your illness is to be weak. This is your nestling. Without it what would you be? Fat. Fat. Fat. A tire around your stomach, fingers that were plump and ready to be thrown on the grill like the awful sausages they are, how about those "muscles"? No. Those aren't muscles. Those are just fat. Or covered in them. It WOULD be too much to ask to be all lean body mass. Because some great being decided that being lean was a blessing. A blessing that only a handful had. Like those Ethiopians. Yeah. They were skinny. By choice? No, they have had nothing to eat all their lives. What does Ethiopian food taste like? They don't know either. This blessing has to be earned by others. To obtain thin priviledge it will take work, time, patience, and devotion. Absolute devotion.  
Who would want this? England has developed it. Everyday for the last three months He has eaten no more than 300 hundred calories. What a normal man his height and age, he eats in a day, he eats in a week. That will do things to you. He doesn't remember the last few months. Just drabbles of the days that had passed. If he eats five cups of popcorn- 155 calories- he will be sick for the entire night. He chews gum for an hour at the least because he needs to burn off those five calories. Nor will he drink caffeinated coffee. That has oil from the coffee beans in it. That's two calories. Nothing has no calories. Water has dust in it. Dust has calories. Calories. England has developed a photographic memory- for labels. Not for anything else though. That might be useful.

"One cookie has 65 calories... I can eat JUST one." England thought to himself. England had eaten oatmeal in the morning and nothing else all day. "Stupid, teenage girls, thinking diet soda will help them!" Tis true it won't help. Aspartame or any artificial sugar will trick your body into producing insulin. When your brain starts to realise there is not sugar present, it send a signal to your stomach to eat the never present sugar! Plus it inhibits fat loss. England walked into the kitchen. He looked around. His entire life evolved around this paticular area now. He was always looking in the fridge, there was nothing to eat though. All of his dishes were spotless, some hadn't been used in the longest time. Nothing was in the trashcan accept for an empty bottle of melatonin pills. "One then done." England opened the package slowly, careful not to fuck the package up. If it wasn't opened perfectly then he couldn't have one. England was relieved that it had opened properly. He looked at the cookie. "Why do I let this control me? All you are is food. Yes, but you make me fat." England took a bite. His mouth was suddenlt wet. His entire mouth salvitated. It's funny, when you are starving you have the senses of a pregnant women. You can smell everything, taste everything, and are incredibly tired. Everything tastes better too. England had finished the cookie. "I should have only taken one bite..." Food looses it's excitement after the first bite. England sighed and put away, time to go and do something else, and try to get his mind off of food. Food was all he thought about. He dropped into a chair that was part of the dining room table. England hated food, yet he was always near it. Almost protecting it. England sat down on the table. "That cookie wasn't worth it," he said to himself. His voice was muffled from his face being in his sleeves. His head touched the table. Minutes had gone by and he accomplished nothing. Now he lives meal to meal. Waiting until the time for his small high. England thought of the cookies again.  
"Every moment you wait, it will just become worse to binge the entire package." England didn't like to eat for this reason. Once he starts he can't stop.

That's how it begins and it never ends.


End file.
